“You,
however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. 2 Teach
the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in
faith, in love and in endurance. 3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they
live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger
women to love their husbands and children, 5 to
be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject
to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. 6 Similarly,
encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7 In
everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show
integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness
of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed
because they have nothing bad to say about us.” -Titus 2
I know what you’re all thinking, and no I did NOT go on a
date! And no matter how disappointed you
may be, this blog is NOT about my dating life in any way, shape, or form. (Got
ya’ to at least open the blog though didn’t I?! Point for Caylee.)
I was however, along with the rest of my house, treated like
a queen by one of our brothers in Christ.
“Why,” you may ask? Because he wanted to serve us as sisters
and show us how we deserved to be treated (his words, not ours).
Earlier this week he asked if we were available tonight
because he wanted to have us over for dinner. As we walked in tonight, we saw a
set-up of candles, flowers, and THIS
incredible display of foliage on the table.
After placing finishing touches on blackened chicken and
rice (SO good!), he had us sit at the table and served us dinner. As I’m sitting there thinking how wonderful
all of this is, he stops for a moment and says he will bless our meal. And THIS is where the “blog-worthiness” comes
in…
This precious brother in Christ blessed the food and then
proceeded to pray for our future husbands! He asked the Lord to begin
preparing them for us and to scare away any men that would have any
dishonorable intentions towards us. What
an incredible blessing to have been cared for in such a way by a sibling in
Christ. I honestly cannot adequately express how much this meant to me.
The rest of the evening was full of incredible food, honest
conversation, laughter, and, brace yourself… community brownies J. (A.K.A. we all just
dug in simultaneously with forks. I
know…you’re jealous.)
I know that all of these thoughts are probably things we’ve
all heard before, but the Lord reminded me so gracefully and gently
tonight. Why do I expect any less from my
Heavenly Father? Why was I surprised to be served so intentionally and
why do I often feel it’s impossible to be treated in such a way by a brother?
This is not a bash towards guys (even though I confess I am
honestly very distrustful and cynical when it comes to relationships), but why
do we so often do them the disservice of expecting mediocrity from them? Why do we, as women, see it as commonplace
for men to be passive, unintentional, and thoughtless in the way they treat
us? Is it because we so desperately worship the
idol of sex and marriage we aren’t willing to wait for God to work on the
hearts of our brothers? (I use the word “we” very intentionally here).
My first thought was to blame men on this matter, but aren’t
we just as guilty? Sure, it is easy to say they all just need to grow up and
learn how to treat women right, (and they do, they are not guiltless in this
pitfall) but why should they when we encourage them to do the opposite? What motivation does a guy have to “act like
a man” when I am behaving like a little girl: allowing him to have time
with me without communicating his attentions, painting him as prince charming
without seeing his faults, and using him to fulfill my desire for
companionship?
I am so guilty on repeated occasions of all of the
above. And why? Because I am a sinner, saved by
grace. Until the day I die, I
will have a sinful nature that I must fight off. And when it comes to dating, this means that I will often be tempted to make excuses for
a man in order to receive attention from him instead of encouraging him towards
authentic manhood through honest communication. The thought of following
through with this conviction makes me cringe (just in case you didn’t know… I
HATE confrontation), but when will I be willing to love others enough
to place their needs over my own, even if that means an uncomfortable
conversation? To share a quote from our
dating class with you: “never sacrifice the truth for someone’s
feelings.” (Don’t go crazy with this, you know what I mean!)
Through prayer and submission to Lord’s will, I can
confidently say the Lord is growing me in this area, but I still have much work
to do. So, to my married friends out
there, help me and those around me in this area by having expectations
for all of us to act like true, committed men and women of God. And to my fellow single friends, let us
behave as the body of Christ by expecting more from each other as well
and treating each other like brothers and sisters as Paul commands in Titus 2.
Guys, BE INTENTIONAL and think about our
hearts! LADIES, the next time a guy asks you out, tell him to call your dad first!
The next time you are on date 6 and the guy hasn’t told you how he feels, ask
him what his intentions are! The next time a guy asks to “hang out”
without stating his intentions, ask him to clarify or say NO! We aren’t doing ourselves, the guys, or the
girl after us any favors by allowing our brothers to be passive.
No, we are NOT responsible for their actions, but
we are responsible for ours, so let’s step up to the plate and encourage
our brothers in Christ toward authentic manhood. Let’s allow love and not selfishness be what
defines our interactions with men, and by all means let’s pray for the men we may
call husbands, as my dear friend and brother did for me tonight.
Thankful for this group of siblings the Lord has used to teach me so much. Pics complements of our retreat (see last entry...)
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