So, obviously, this entry is slightly past due, but who couldn’t use a final summary :). My heart was torn when I left and is still very much in the same condition. As always, I was sad to leave, knowing that being away from the “spiritual paradise” of Kaleo would be difficult as well as saying goodbye to some of the most incredible people I have met in my life. However, I was simultaneously so very excited to go home and be with my family and friends, as well as share about the goodness of our Lord and Savior. These times are always difficult for me, but I know that moving forward is a not only a part of life, but also a part of serving the Lord. We are not called to be stagnant, but ever searching to grow closer to our Heavenly Father.
Over the 17-hour drive back home, along with the awesome friends I was carpooling with, I was able to really look back and reflect on the summer and all the ways the Lord had moved in my heart and the hearts of those around me. Imagine growing five or six inches in height in one summer because of an insane growth spurt- that’s basically what happened in my heart. I have never grown so much spiritually in one time in my life! It is almost as if God took every blinder I’ve ever had on my eyes, allowed me to see Him for exactly who He is, and reached in my heart, molding it as the most malleable clay it has ever been. Honestly, for years, I had always felt like there was something missing in my walk with the Lord, something more I should be doing, but I just never knew what it was. I had been praying the same prayer repeatedly, “Lord, help me to know you and serve you alone”, and all the while, feeling like a broken record. I read Scripture consistently, but didn’t get very much out of it. I prayed regularly, and loved it, but felt like I was always giving the Lord a to do list. Don’t get me wrong, the Lord was certainly faithful to grow me, love me, find me where I was, and still teach me, but it was a much slower process and still lacking and now I know why. The problem was that I was very focused on myself, even in my faith. My goal in life was striving to be the best Christian I could be and glorifying God with my life. Sounds good, right? My heart was in the right place, I was just missing out on the true ultimate goal Christ desires for our lives: giving it over COMPLETELY to Him. Sure, I gave Him a few minutes in Scripture and a prayer, but only what I had time for- we are just all so busy! I did these things in order to grow myself- me me me! I feel now that the prayer I have been praying for the past few years has truly been answered. God has shown me what it looks like to serve Him with ALL of me, every little part.
If we don’t have time to spend with God, what do we have time for? Life is full of choices and prioritizing; we decide what do with our lives and the people we want to be. We are a product of what we do, and the things that we make time for show the people we really are and what is most important to us. Spending time with the Lord and doing the work of His Kingdom should be the priority that dominates all others- including work, school, and even family. The sacrifice Christ gave for us, in order that we could know Him and live eternally in the presence of the Heavenly Father is a gift, and one that we must spend the rest of our lives thanking Him for. It is the greatest gift ever given or that can ever be received. He gave all of Himself to us, and the least we can do in return is offer the same to Him.
So, what does this look like in our lives? One thing I am certain of is that it most certainly includes sharing the Good News of the Gospel with others. This is probably the thing that most radically answered my desperate prayer to the Lord. Learning how to share the basics of my faith (how to receive Christ) with others strengthened my faith tremendously and gave me such a purpose for life. On top of giving the first of everything of my own personal life, I must be avidly seeking ways in which I can share Christ with anyone and everyone in my life through the leading of the Holy Spirit. Having this training and conviction has given me a reason to wake up every morning and the desire and joy to do everything in my power to know my Heavenly Father more and more every day. What better way to love others than to share the gift of eternal life with them? As a Christian, if I am not leading others to Christ, what am I doing? From this day forward, no matter where the Lord takes me or what walk of life I end up taking, I am confident that my purpose in life is to lead others to Him. Every time I read Scripture, talk to the Lord through prayer, or seek to know Him better, it is in pursuit of knowing Him more and becoming more effective at sharing His truth. One of my favorite sermon quotes from this summer that greatly affected me is, “to meet God is amazing, but to know Him is indescribable; to know Him takes sacrifice”. It is not necessarily easy to get up early in the morning to spend time with the Lord or give up time with family or friends to love someone the Spirit leads you to, but it is what we must do to know God and be obedient to His calling on our life- and it will be worth every single minute. There is absolutely nothing I could do, nothing at all, that could ever repay Christ for what He did for me on that cross. But with every fiber in my being, I can seek to love Him in honor of that gift and share it with others. “This is love for God: to obey His commands.” (I John 5:3).
Since being back home, everything looks different to me. Scripture is so much clearer, my heart is intently engaged during worship, and every thought and breath has a vividly clear purpose, to love and serve my Savior. I feel an even deeper love for my family friends, and especially the lost. I can’t thank everyone enough for the opportunity that was given me this summer through the love and support that all of you gave. I feel like I have said it so many times, but seriously I can’t say it enough!! THANK YOU!! As I say goodbye to Panama City Beach and Kaleo, I say hello to the ministry and mission God has placed on my heart. I will greatly miss Florida, but will certainly find fulfillment in the days to come in the Lord and His calling. I am a renewed daughter of the King, with a heart more full of direction and joy than I ever thought possible. May God continue to grow my heart and yours daily as we seek to know Him better and share Him with others.
More love, hope, and gratitude than words can express,
Caylee Joy
